Tech

Netsuite eCommerce Platform: Perils of the Underdark

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Posted from: South Carolina

Supporter of narrative causality that I am, I find it soothingly romantic to imagine that Hell is a tailor-made experience. Covet enough of your neighbor’s Ikea bookshelves, and when you die, the cosmos will reach into the remains of your consciousness, pluck out your greatest fear, and bam, you’re locked in a closet with Tom Cruise for all eternity.
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Things I Learned Doing Web Design: Episode 1

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When the code you’re handed is kind of shitty, roll it into a ball that’s 250 times heavier than your body weight and bury it.

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Why to Unplug the Coder’s Office Phone: A Conversation

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Posted from: South Carolina

With a client’s new Drupal-based project specs sitting in my inbox, I did a bucket of research and found an awesome new module that made my toes all tingly. The project deposit burning a hole in my hot little fist, I called the module developers, ready to do anything this side of adultery to buy a copy. And then More Technical Guy answered.

Me: Hi! I’d really love to buy your new Drupal module. I was wondering if you guys do custom scripting? Could you integrate a checkout of some kind? What would be a ballpark quote for that?

Him: Uh…. yeah, we talked about it, but that would be a lot of work.

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Papa John’s Pizza Thinks You Like Nipple Clamps

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Posted from: South Carolina

That’s right. The development team at Papa John’s, along with the whole marketing department, sat down together and collectively determined that you, at the very least, enjoy a good hard flogging. And then, following that logic, they instituted an online ordering and checkout process that caters exclusively to their masochistic target market.

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Grace Photoblog Theme v1.2 – A Review

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Posted from: South Carolina

I recently had the pleasure of tossing up a very quick WordPress site as a Christmas present for my mother-in-law, who does some gorgeous South Carolina nature photography. As her client list grows, she made the decision to put down some digital roots over at www.patriciapschaefer.com.

We were going for cheap, fast, and simple, simple, simple, so in terms of a design, I settled on the blissfully free Grace Photoblog Theme developed by the UK’s own 7879 Designs.

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Cheers to Eric.

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Posted from: South Carolina

If you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to step away from the sarcasm for a split second and give a hearty “thank you for occasionally being awesome” to the human race in general, and an even heartier “thank you for the gift card” to Eric in particular.
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Typography Design: 8 Free Papyrus Alternatives

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For three months, I lived on an island. A retirement island, with marshy sweetgrass vistas and bike trails dominated by socially-appropriate metaphors for poo (PLEASE REMOVE ANY DOG LEAVINGS AND DISPOSE OF HORSE EXCRETIONS).

Oh, and Papyrus, the web designer‘s nightmare. Papyrus in every coffee table bookshop window, on every photo gallery awning, and on the logo of every locally-grown bag of backwater pecans. We turned it into a snarky scavenger hunt. “Look, honey – pralines. From ancient Egypt.”

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I Installed Linux. Now What?

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The first time I installed Linux was about 9 years ago. CD burners not being nearly as easy to come by as they are these days, I spent two weeks’ allowance on a copy of Red Hat and set about figuring out what the hell a swap partition was. 14 hours later, I got a welcome screen, did the Hokey Pokey FTW … and then switched back to Windows and forgot all about it.
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SouthEast LinuxFest

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So, I’m waaay late in reporting on this one, but a few of the Columbia, SC LUG guys and I spent at the first annual Southeast Linux Fest this year, and it was packed with so much perfect frosted dorkery, I came home all, “OHAI <husband>, if time == now then feedKendra(lasagna, salad) or die”.

Kyle nursed me back to English-speaking, pop-culture health with a steady diet of tabloid articles about Kirsty Alley’s weight gain and the horrific blog posts about Duke leaving Freezepop. (more…)

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I Heart InMotion

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InMotion Hosting rocks my socks. Seriously. They rock my pants off.

After wading through a sickening miasma of forehead-slappingly horrible hosting services, finding InMotion was like coming home to a basket of warm, buttery, PHP5-enabled muffins. It’s like the part at the end of the book where the whole adventuring party is back in the same tavern they started from, and the thief is all, “This story may be over, but our adventure has only just begun!” (more…)

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